Thursday, May 05, 2005

God's Message

Left on my voice mail while I was playing poker with Gil Bellows (Sad to say a lesser cable channel showed up in the middle and asked if there were any celebrities in the house. Gil heard this in the background and went to get a slice of pizza, as the camera crew left):

God: Hey Damon, sorry about that. Something came up. Solomon really needed me. He's been getting 2 o clock drunk for the last couple weeks. I don't know why, either, Jesus thinks it's cause his latest girlfriend broke up with him two weeks ago, but he's been drinking like this for a month now. I think she cheated on him, well I know she cheated on him. Oh the fucking drama. I show up, he's crying and talking about his small dick. I was all like "She was a waitress at a club, and when Colm Feore tips well and expresses interest, you're going to come across as archaic." The fucked thing was a month ago he was all like, "I'm so happy to not be dating a starfucker this time...." He ended up smoking some pot and mellowed out a bit, but he's been like this for years. I don't think he ever got over the time he slipped it to Sheena E. Me and the gang were on tour with Prince, just hanging with him, awesome dude, very grounded, all things considered, and though Prince was like "I don't touch the stuff" Sol and Sheelia slipped off back, did some coke and ended up fooling around. I know you're super busy tomorrow, but if you're around lunchitme, I might give you a buzz, maybe we can grab lunch at The Steak Escape. Anyway, glad you won money. Oh wait. You haven't won yet. Well, it's not like you're going to get this until you get home anyway.