My day in a nutshell (True Story)

As I approach the elevator to leave work, I don't even have to press the button. I hear a ding, and out stolls a cutie who smiles at me. As I walk into the elevator, I understand the meaning of her smile.

She farted, and the elevator reeks of ass.

On the third floor someone enters the elevator with me, and at that point there is nothing you can say or do to not seem culpable. A minute earlier I thought I was flirting.