But... they're great cause they sound like fucking.

I can't think of any other way of selling the appeal of good funk. Stevie Wonder, James Brown, The Jackson Five (And the best of Michael Jackson, specifically Off the Wall), Marvin Gaye, Prince, Rick James, etc. It makes your body want to move rhythmically. Someone I know told me she didn't like this sort of music, and I couldn't find the polite way of saying the above to her, though admittedly, I'm crude enough to have said as much.