Tuesday, June 07, 2005

Here come the Warm Jets

God: Damon!
Damon: Oh, hey.
God: What's up?
Damon: Not much, G, how you doing?
God: Well you know, always busy. What's up, I haven't heard from you in like forever.
Damon: Well, I'm still having the Sith conversations, so I figured I'd stay away.
God: What you don't want to talk about how Tom Cruise has gone nuts ad infinitum?
Damon: Maybe a little.
God: He's nuts.
Damon: Park a cow outside his house nuts.
God: Assault with a stapler gun nuts.
Damon: Dressing up as Ruth Buzzi for Christmas nuts.
God: Digitally reduced bosom nuts.
Damon: Anakin's Turn nuts.
God: Hey....
Damon: Sorry, changing your name to Aluminum nuts.
God: Good one. Telling strangers about your butt plug nuts.
Damon Signing Brett Ratner to direct X3 nuts.
God: Marrying Margot Kidder nuts.
Damon: Tara Reid nuts.
God: Thinking Paris Hilton minds that her sex tape leaked nuts.
Damon: Speaking of, is it just me or have all celebrities gone crazy? Russell with the phone, Alba with her see through top, Lindsay Lohan...
God: Don't get me started on that trollop. I gave her so many gifts, and look at her, she looks like a used condom.
Damon: Yeah. Yeah, I've been busy lately, writing, people, poker.
God: Me and Jesus have been thinking of getting a table going, but after we staged that intervention with Mordecai, things have been slow on that front.
Damon: The best part of that was that you guys did it the same week as the OC did it.
God: I know, I felt so bad. It was like "Hey, The O.C.'s over, and we're doing the same to you!
Damon: Yeah.
God: And the problem is, me and the boys LOVE to drink, we go out every weekend. So when M gets back it'll be like... Can he come along? How do we work this?
Damon: I dunno, it's difficult.
God: You wanna do Batman Begins opening night?
Damon: Totally, though is it at the Chinese?
God: We can always do the Grove if worse comes to it.
Damon: Fair enough.
God: Don't be a stranger now. And quit being so fucking whiny on your blogs. "Meow, meow meow, I'm not meeting girls." Hang out with us more, bitch!
Damon: I tried that, and it's like I'm your roadie. I can't compete with your shit.
God: Work you mojo, bitch.
Damon: "Hey, I'm not really much of anything yet, but I've been told I'm a good investment."
God: Told it by God.
Damon: urgh.
God: Ciao.
Damon: Ciao, God.