The Portland recap/ Non ho sonno

Okay, I've been here for 48 hours and I leave in 16. A very brief stint, but I was also here for Thanksgiving, so there's that sense of "What's changed in a month? Nothing? Okay. Good to see you." Friday started when I got up and my mom decided she wanted to see a movie. That being Brokeback Mountain. As we got downtown, I saw the lights on at my old office and decided to call my old boss. We had a couple minutes so I got to see him and two other old coworkers and got a Brokeback Mountain jacket out of it. We then head over to the theater and I run into someone I know who works at the theater, and chat him up for a couple minutes, and then watch the movie, which we both loved. As the movie ended a girl walked by and said "I lied it, but why did the sex have to be so violent?" My mom asked what the girl said, I told her, and moms said "What an idiot." My response was like "Yeah, you're my mom, mom."We then trekked over to Powells to sell some books for my brother and ran into Chris and his wife, who were in town from L.A. That's the nature of Portland, you're more likely to run into people you know from L.A. in Portland than you are in L.A. My friend D.K. was working and I made sure he was to swing by the Aalto that night. I then went to Rich's (as I previously essayed) and then grabbed some dinner. I took the bus over to South East, and told the peeps that I should be there around seven. When I got to the Aalto at 5:30... I ordered a Bloody Mary and decided to do some reading. After a half hour I thought "should I go up to Madness?" I then grabbed a Diet Pepsi elsewhere and decided upon the greatest idea known to man: I went to the nearby nickel arcade, to play some pinball and Dance Dance Revolution.

I got back to the bar a little after seven, and still there was no one there. Bobby showed shortly thereafter and it was him and me chatting it up (he had also recently seen Brokeback) until around nine, when Scott and Heather showed with Scott's mom. Bobby bailed shortly thereafter and then an old friend named Sam rolled in announcing DK's appearance, and gave me a cigar. Shortly after DK showed so did some other friends with whom I started dancing, which led to a pole dance performed by me. And it was hot. When Bobby was talking of bailing early, I thought I might get home before midnight and take the bus, but more and more people I knew started piling in, and another friend who lives part time in LA showed, and we now have plans to hang out when he's in town in two weeks. Sweet. The party started to wind down, and I kept drinking in that way where you just stay in the balance of the right buzz. It's hard to manage, but it totally worked out for me. Got a cab at one and came home.

Today I got up and the big plan was to hang out with Jeff. We watched some Ultraman (including an episode where Ultraman fights a violin monster), Ride Lonesome, and the truly amazing Turkish film called Death Warrior, which does not make a god damn lick of sense in it's 72 minute running time. If you liked Turkish Star Wars, then you'll love Death Warrior. Mom and I got back and watched Meet Me In St. Louis (great!) and The Dark Corner, which was rather good. Mom crashed out and I jumped in her hot tub for a bit to veg out.

I get out and there's a message from Aili on my cell phone. I call her back and she had just gotten off the phone with her family, a group of early risers. Her sister and brother were home for the holidays and Aili is stuck in Los Angeles cause she had too much work. She basically spent an hour decompressing. She wished me well, and as the conversation wrapped up, she spit out in a tired (and slightly drunk) voice "I love you." My reflexes kicked in and I said "Love you too." and we got off the phone before I realized what had just happened. And I tell you, it's fucking with me so bad right now that I feel like shit. It was a slip that changes everything. And so here we are and there you go.