Sunday, July 10, 2005

What is too personal for this blog? A linty trip inside the author's Belly Button

I wonder, though I know there is a fine line, and I know there are certain things I'm just not going to talk about. There is some stuff I would talk about that may be too personal - though I obviously don't have a problem with some things - because I know too many of my readers too well (such as they are, I have no idea who reads this and I sorta don't want to know, except when someone tells me they liked something). I don't like commenting on things that may effect them, and I get sorta weird about talking about things they may have been witness to too much - it depends on the encounter; to a certain extent I'd hate for them to think I was being aggrandizing, or self-deprecating or whatever for show. I try and be as honest as possible even when I'm lying.

I guess I have no problems revealing things about myself, but when it starts to comment on the real world too much, it just isn't going to make the cut. The strange thing about my life is that most of my closest friends, pretty much the majority of people that I've become close to over the last three years or so, is due entirely to the internet. Now that I'm settling into Los Angeles, and working relatively steady (though there is always the invisible axe that seems lingering in the horizon) there are work friends who are becoming friend friends, and that's nice, but this blog is a sorta secret. There are people who don't know about it, and I probably wouldn't want them to. The internet is a weird place. But even though this blog is close to members only, there's also a part of me that would like to have a secondary blog that would serve as the hole I fill with dirt (back to In the Mood for Love again, I know) that would be even more anonymous. The unfortunate side effect of that is that like anything, I would want to show it to someone. And then maybe that person might be involved with something I'd want to talk about, and then I'd have to make another blog. There is something so appealing about anonymity, something equally balanced with the desire for approval. It's that artist/art dichotomy thing. I am both much more and much less than what I write.