Monday, January 15, 2007

Like a cat dunked into water

I have a couple close friends out here, but by the nature of this town, it's never very easy to see many of them, and now with the kid, near impossible. One of my oldest, Sarah, came by for dinner last night. Sarah's been in a couple of movies, and we've always been just friends, and for about two years straight every weekend we went out dancing together. She moved to LA in 2002-ish, and we've only recently reconnected after literally running into each other on the street, and so I thought I should have her over to meet the baby. After she left I got an ear full. And I guess I understand, though I've had female friends all my life, you essentially have to work together, or go to school together to enjoy a solid platonic bond. Otherwise, those sort of friendships are as Chris Rock described, situations where you wanted to date, but ended up in the friendzone. And women know that so when you have a female friend who's attractive it can bring up a lot of issues. Basically, it can make a woman feel like silver or a bronze. But Sarah and I used to work together, and it's just never been there with us. It's kind of strange, too, I can't think of any point in our relationship where I was even thinking about it. Somethimes there's a bell curve effect, where attractions wax or wane, and I can't think of that point with us, though I've known Sarah for about ten years now, so perhaps I literally can't remember.

Sarah knew what was going on and tried to roll with it, but we have a relationship, so it's easy for us to fall into paterns, and then there's my wife. She feels unattractive, doesn't like having sex with me, but sometimes forces herself to. This is easily the worst and tenderest part of our relationship right now. Four months ago, she literally couldn't get enough of my sexin', and that was a little bit awkward for me when she was superpregnant. But I soldiered on. Now it's sort of a damend if you do, damned if you don't thing. I think we both fake how tired we are sometimes. I'm still sort of imprisoned by her, because if I jerk off in the interim, she can tell by my ejaculant. I'm sure everyone wanted to know that. The funny thing is, even though the sex can be rather mechanical, I still get off. My wife can give me a half hearted blowjob, and it works every time. I could return the favor, and have and sometimes if a woman don't want to, she won't, no matter how long you go. It's such a sad comment on me. So anyway, the wife kinda hates Sarah right now, and of course she wanted to have sex last night. She was literally cursing me out in Finnish, it was angry almost scary sex, but for the first time since the baby she had an orgasm. The kind that should have woken the baby, if she wasn't literally biting a pillow (she was however shaking the bed quite a bit). And after she did, I held her as she cried for about fifteen minutes. Last night I had all the baby duties. I kind of want to ask if that was the most intense one she's ever had, but if it isn't I really don't want to know.