Friday, January 04, 2008

This Isn't Goodbye, Per Se

I have not been blogging a lot lately. I have a wife, a kid, and a kid on the way. I have a full time job, albeit at home, for the time being. I stopped posting. Partly this is because of my wife.

As I have mentioned towards the start of this blog, I want people I know to read this, but I also want to be able to talk about them, and as such I don't like talking about people who might read this and say "that's not the way it happened." There was a time with the wife where she wasn't reading this, and so I could put my thoughts about our relationship on here guilt free. Now I can't. For a while it was fun to have her read me talking about how we were fucking or fighting because it might lead to both. But we've been working through my depression, and it's going well, but it's going with free and open communication. And putting those thoughts on here would make it worse. She doesn't want me to leave those issues for the world to see, and for it to sit for all time. Neither do I.

I have and had dreams of making it in this town. I have grown up to the extent that though I still write, and work on my scripts, I can't pretend to do that full time. Not that I ever have. I have friends in the industry, and things might change at some point or another, but not soon, especially with the strike going. But as I am in another industry for the time being, I have to sate myself with that. The DVD Journal is gone. I'm not really even writing about movies any more. I still watch them, and because my next door neighbor is in a guild, I have seen all the 2007 films of note. To which my list currently would be as such:

1) The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford
2) No Country For Old Men
3) There Will Be Blood
4) Into the Wild
5) Zodiac
6) Grindhouse
7) Gone Baby Gone
8 ) Hot Fuzz
9) I'm Not There
10 ) Control
11) Lust, Caution
12) The Mist
13) American Gangster
14) Juno
15) Margot at the Wedding

Of these I saw only a handful in the theater. Most were screener nights at home with the wife. She loved Jesse and no Country, which was a relief. But the highlight of the year was being let out to see Grindhouse with friends the night before it opened. My wife's favorite of the year was Control. She's a Joy Division fan, though. As for DVD's, I still buy them, but the pile keeps getting bigger. There's no time.

Having a kid is excellent. There is a joy I find every day in my son. This is a very true thing, and when people try and express this by the mundanities of their child, it's fitting. You watch something being formed and you hope you damage it only slightly along the way. My son will be watching The Right Stuff before he knows how to talk. And will have him wearing Obama '08 shirts shortly. I want him to believe in hope, and the betterment of mankind.

But the bottom line is I shouldn't even commit to committing to writing stuff here. If I'm going to spend time doing personal writing, I should keep this s a maybe. so this will likely gather dust, like that copy of Last Days I bought two years ago. And there it is.