Tuesday, May 08, 2007

How I know the meds don't work

Last night I couldn't sleep well. I had a dental appointment yesterday, my first in four years. I had a filling fall out a couple months ago, but the months since have been so insanely tight - especially with our emergency trip abroad - and even though we're insured I pushed it off. Also, I was fucking frightened of what horrors my mouth had in store for the dentist. I tried sleeping for a while, got up to write a blog entry and tried again to crash out. Aili was fucking pissed at four, cause it's not like we sleep normally anyway. I told I could sleep on the couch, but that got her even more annoyed. It was cute annoyed. If we didn't have the kid with us, we probably would have fucked. But we were both too tired. And she got to go in late to work so I could go to my appointment. So I go to the dentist, and when I get there I'm practically shaking with nerves. They take 32 X-rays - which did nothing to calm me down - and then I finally get to see the dentist. We look through the pics of my teeth, she inspects my mouth, and there's only one problem - the missing filling. She advises I get a crown, which will cost $275. I think instead I'll go with a filling, even though it won't last as long, simply because the expenditure on our end will only be $40. But hearing all this, my stress levels dropped immediately. Then I got home, the wife took off, and about an hour later, an entirely new paranoia and guilt bumped up the list in my head.

It's like my mind's not happy if I don't feel bad about something right now. Maybe I just wasn't ready to be a father, I don't know. Lee's ready to go back to sleep, so night y'all.