Wednesday, September 07, 2005

A very Special Conversation

Damon: You've reached Damon and this is my answering machine.
God: Pick up. Pick up, pick up pick up. (Click)
Damon: What, it's three thirty in the morning.
God: Oh hey, Damon, how's it going.
Damon: Tired, I was sleeping. I've been watching a lot of movies, writing. What's up?
God: You're asking me what's up?
Damon: Yeah, you're probably pretty busy these days.
God: My phone has not stopped ringing for the last week and change, and I haven't talked to you in forever.
Damon: Well, people want to know what's up.
God: That they do.
Damon: How you hangin?
God: Oh, I'm exausted. Fucking hell.
Damon: I won't even get you started on it then.
God: You see that Kanye West thing?
Damon: Yeah, it made me chuckle.
God: That's some great rock and roll suicide, right there.
Damon: I don't think it'll hurt his career, but it may politicize him in the future.
God: We shall see. The problem with events like this is people want to call it like they see it, but unfortunately they see it blinded by their emotions.
Damon: If ever there was a time to be.
God: True dat.
Damon: So, you seen anything lately?
God: What is this free time you speak of.
Damon: Hey, you're God.
God: I know. All right, all right, I was on the phone and watched Babe with the sound off.
Damon: The pig movie?
God: Yeah. It was a nice pick me up.
Damon: I was watching some Star Trek lately.
God: Jesus Damon, how long's it been since you've had a girlfriend?
Damon: Long enough, but that's not the point.
God: Look if you start down that road, you know, your dick could fall off before you date someone.
Damon: It's mostly at work.
God: Mostly.
Damon: Mostly.
God: Yeah right.
Damon: Anyway, I saw this footage on the supplements...
God: You get paid to watch supplements now?
Damon: Yes.
God: And...
Damon: Well George Takei talked abotu growing up in an American Concentration camp, and it made me think how we're only sixty years removed from that. I mean, I grew up in the cold war, but it was always a removed threat. My generation saw no wars, but not so long before I was born people like LBJ were buying elections. I guess I find it sort of comforting to know that we're not all that far removed from primitive times, and we've made leaps and bounds in the last half a century. It's not much of a hope, but it's something.
God: I was afraid this would all be a roundabout criticism of me.
Damon: Nah, I'm not like that.
God: I don't think this is going to settle down for a while.
Damon: Not until a lot of people are fired, for one, and, you know, New Orleans...
God: Look, why don't we plan some down time this weekend. Maybe just you and me. I got herb, I got drinks, we can get our chill on.
Damon: Herb? Oregano?
God: I'm just saying it's been a rough couple, and I might want to get stoned.
Damon: Does that mean I'm driving?
God: Probably. Maybe hit a tittie bar or three.
Damon: You paying?
God: Shit, I'll even buy you a lap dance if you like.
Damon: Not my scene, but, you know, I can't say no to you.
God: And that's what I like aboucha.
Damon: Bull shit.
God: Nah, I know. Sorry for waking you.
Damon: You know, man, any time. For you. I know how bad it's got to be.
God: You have no idea. PEACE! (Click)