I am the #2 Houx on Google

I am also around, but kids, man. It's mellowed me.

In which I engage in Nostalgia, but feel little shame about it.

My Week is fucked

I have accomplished little this week. I have drank on many nights. My wife has been understanding. But it hurts that both she and her mom want to keep Lee away from me when I'm like that. Makes me want to stop, but I needed the anesthetic. I'm not sleeping well unless I drink heavy. Which means Aili's not sleeping well. It's hard. She holds me most nights when I get into bed. She took Thursday and Friday off. We watched Big Fish, which turns out to be terrible. Wish I knew that when I first saw it and it kicked my ass. We're going to watch The Fountain this weekend. Should be great!

I've been there for my mom. At first it took a day or two for the numbness to break. I'm feeling sort of better, but I'm still raw and jangly.

The Freedom of Grief

I have been taking it easy for the last couple. I went out with some friends after a screening of Blade Runner today. We went to a bikini bar. It would be called a tittie bar if LA allowed for nudity and booze to mix. My good friend Devin encouraged me to fuck a non-stripper. The fucked up thing about being aware is that you know you can take advantage of your grief. You both want and don't want to. My wife would probably forgive infidelity at this juncture. But maybe she wouldn't. I think I would love her more if she didn't. But I won't. On call sex is pretty awesome. Kid #2 will be interesting. I think I'm going to have to tie my tubes soon.